Odetta

Recycling my comment/poem from years ago, trying to gather some writings together.


NPR Link on Death of Odetta

I wrote this down without editing later, and I never went back and fixed it - seems like I am better spontaneous rahter than labored over, at elast to my own tastes.

this is my comment on the NPR site:
I was teared up holding my infant son and hearing her sing "Amazing Grace." This sprang to mind, I post it here unedited. I am sure I could fiddle and make it better, but..
Odetta Haiku

Oh! Our Odetta,
Your graceful growl will carry
On to heaven’s door.

A new but old post as I learn about this.

This seems apropos having been to the zoo this past weekend- the tigers were out!
Big difference between Mill Mountain Zoo and The Cincinnati Zoo; MM is so small Ruby was a real star.

Today’s Journal Entry

December 18^th, 2006.  Nubie’s last day.

I have made the difficult decision to euthanize my dog today. She is nearly blind, nearly deaf, confused, incontinent, and increasingly unable to get up or move around easily. She walks with her tail between her legs  Sometimes she can’t get up at all.. I have noted this for some time, but she was still having “good days.” She enjoys her food, being petted, and seems content enough just sitting and being. I was feeling very wrong about my decision yesterday as she followed me around the property and was getting around well enough. She dragged one back leg a little but otherwise did O.K.

Last night I let her out one more time and she just kept walking, head pointed forward, right for the embankment - I had to run and grasp her collar and say “No, Nubie, honey, this way.” I guess today she will go off a bigger embankment.

I had Mike dig the hole weeks ago, and he walked her around the property today, letting her do one last circuit. He is meeting me in town with the dog in two hours. I wonder if she sniffed her final resting spot and wondered what it was.

A few mornings ago, I woke up wondering if tigers had an immortal soul, and if they did, did they have their own heaven?  Is there room for tigers in heaven with men? Ruby, the Mill Mountain Zoo tiger, was euthanized Dec 10^th, and though I visited her only once in all the time I have lived here, the news hit me pretty hard. I like the idea of her there, and with Nubie’s impending date with the inevitable looming and my mother’s terminal illness, anything having to do with the death of someone loved is rough these days. I read part of a child’s tribute to her in the paper yesterday, before the page swam out of focus I noted that the child was writing condolences to the zoo staff, stating “ it must be hard to lose a tiger that glory is.”  Children are so apt sometimes.

A tiger that glorious.

A tiger that glory is.

A black lab that glory is.

Goodbye to my faithful friend, I hope you can forgive me if I ever wasn’t Mom enough, if I ever took you for granted.

Dear Universe/Higher power/divine self,

I would like to revoke the permission I somehow gave
on this turn of the wheel or maybe the last
to be treated with less respect, to be taken for granted
to be crushed into a ball that cannot speak in my own defense
unfurling only to be shouted back into the corner

Please set me on the path to be honored and cherished
to have my love be recognized and accepted and magnified back out
make me an instrument of peace, both in the giving and receiving

Do not let me be a mirror to anyone's sorrow or self-pity
I want to be a kind face that radiates good will
and receives a portion back.

Please help me see the ways that I obstruct myself from doing this.
with gratitude for life.
t